Dream Ending?

We are standing outside a court building. The doorway is carved stone and dominates the building. There is a group of us. It's not clear who I'm with but it's not mum and dad or Ade, men I don't recognise.

Someone approaches through the doors to the court. He looks official, he is wearing a suit, carrying a folder. I recognise him but can't put a name to his face right now. He comes over to us. "The results are back", he says.

"What did they say?" someone asks.

"They are awarding compensation," he states.

There is a collective sigh of relief. The tension, which I had not noticed until now, dissipates.

He continues, "There are conditions. If you got the letter suggesting you might have received blood products contaminated with vCJD then you will be compensated. Otherwise not."

"What?" I am confused. "There were two letters, what if you got the other one - saying there was a risk of you getting vCJD from your treatment?"

"No compensation if you got that letter, only if you got the other one."

I ask, "What if you got the second letter but still go on to develop vCJD?"

"That won't happen," he responded. "According to the medical experts if you had received contaminated blood you would have been ill by now. Therefore you won't get ill in the future, so they have not made plans for long term compensation."

"That doesn't make any sense! Those who had the first letter aren't ill, so they obviously haven't got vCJD either! Why compensate some for the knowledge that they might have received it, but not others who have the same knowledge - when as you say neither group will actually get ill." My voice is raised, I bang my fist against my chest, "What about me!"

I feel dizzy and it seems the scene in front of me is receding at the speed of light. My vision goes black and I feel myself falling onto my knees. My head is down on the floor in front of me and my arms are wrapped around my head. I am wailing. Uncontrollably keening a lament. Mourning a death - I cannot stop. I hurt like I have been pierced with a shaft of light. I am being ripped apart on the pavement.

I force myself awake but the torment lingers on.