Foiblicious

If you know me, you'll be aware that I have a number of foibles, slight peculiarities, idiosyncrasies, anal tendencies, eccentricities.  I believe they are worth celebrating.

This is a list of those that spring to my mind:

• curtains - when they are drawn they need to hang straight - thinking about it, this applies when they are open too.  I think this only applies at home - I've never found myself manhandling another's curtains.
• toilet rolls - need to hang away from the wall and if you find yours has turned around it may be because I visited your smallest room - can't help being hands on with this one.  Why it's preferable to having the roll stroking the wall as it dangles, I don't know.
• singing - you may just have heard me do this ;) - any song on the radio / TV will impregnate my brain and be sung for hours (sometimes, and very annoyingly, days) afterwards.  If I hear a word or phrase that comes from a song, I'll be singing it within minutes, often without even realising what the trigger was.  My work colleagues used to do this on purpose, for fun.  Last weekend it was Friday I'm in Love all weekend following a friend's Facebook status update.
• upside down opening - I have, for as long as I can remember, opened all packaging which has a right side up, up side down.  Malteaser bags, crisp packets, bags of pasta, packets of sanitary towels etc.  I think this stemmed from an early recognition that if a bag of summat had a hole at the top used to hang the item on a display - if opened  the right way up this hole would result in the packet splitting down the side and half the stuff inside flying out.  Solved by opening upside down.  This soon mutated to any and all packets.
• talking to myself - I do this all the time, because I spend a lot of time alone perhap??  Weirdly I catch myself doing it without even realising - usually in the supermarket or wandering down the street.  Then I tell myself off.  Out loud.
• talking to inanimate objects - I talk to the trees, but they do not listen to me.  No really, I do talk to things - vegetables, furniture, plants, doors, taps, bits of my body.  Maybe I enjoy not getting a response.
• sound effects - I provide sound effects.  Why?  No idea.  Didn't even know I did it until a friend at work pointed it out one day.  Then realised I do it all the blooming time.  If a door creaks I'll do a creaky noise.  If driving round a bend I'll emit a skidding sound effect.  If driving a trolley around a corner I'll do the same.  If I see a ball bounce I'll produce a boing.
• talking for things - I not only talk to the animals, but for them as well.  I must have watched too much Johnny Morris as a child because if I see an animal - a cat on a street, a goose in a field, a duck on a river - I talk to them and then I reply for them, with appropriate animal / bird voice.  I can have quite a splendid little conversation this way.  
• talking for babies - I also cannot help but do this for babies too.  If a baby's playing with something I will provide a commentary - what I imagine baby to be thinking.  I guess what they would say when they look at you askance (which is probably because you are having a conversation with yourself).  I can't help myself and enjoy trying to figure out what they might say if only they could.  Probably irritating as hell for the parents.  I think this stems from at the age of 6 wishing I could do the voices for Count Duckula or Mighty Mouse.
• silliness - no explanation needed here, think the foibles above are testament to this.  I am a silly billy and I am not ashamed.
• word play - I like to make new words.  Taking existing words and changing them a little.  For instance Foibilicious.  Can't think of any more at the moment but I know there are squillions.

If you know of others I've omitted, please feel free to comment thus.  I'm sure there are more....

If you'd like to comment a list of your own - that would be fascinating :)

 

Joking apart ...

People tell me I have a positive outlook on life.  During my life I've been told this a fair few times.  I usually think nothing of it and thank them.  Recently, however, I've begun to question myself.  Do I??

I decided long ago never to walk in anyone's shadow.  Actually that was Whitney not me, it ain't a bad philosophy but it ain't mine.  My decision was to follow Eric and Ernie in thinking there should be more happiness in this world.  To apply Brian's philosophy to look for the glint of hope in even the biggest piece of poo that life deals us.  Thus I've tried to face most challenges with a smile and used my sense of humour to distract myself from difficulties.

Recently I find myself wondering if the sh*t really is just that - sh*t.  And mebbe I've known that all along.  Have I just been kidding myself??  Is my positivity a sham?  A facade?  Am I actually full of sh*t??

Maybe hearing people say too often - it's amazing how positive you are - begs the question, why the hell am I?  And then, in fact ... am I?  Or is it a discipline I've adopted for so long I'm smothered in layers and layers of positive attitude and unable to see the real Ros, whoever and whatever she may be?  Whatever and however she may feel.

Maybe upbeat-ism it is my shield of steel?  Maybe I wear my carefree cape for protection?  To protect me from delving deep into my deepest darkest innermost feelings??  Where reality could be pain and disappointment and gut wrenching inadequacies.  To protect me from honesty?  Or to protect others perhaps?  From having to hear about it.  From perhaps feeling pity, or sympathy, or guilt, or disgust?  Not feelings I'd want to engender in anyone.  I don't want that.  Not any more.

Perhaps I actually am this damn perky?  Perhaps I do laugh out loud in the supermarket, sing when I feel lonely and smile in the dark.  Maybe my antidote to the less fun stuff is positivity and hope?  What's wrong with that?  Is that not the best way to be?

Always looking on the bright side can be tricky when it's raining on the inside.

Should I turn my face towards the rain?  Seek out and face my truth?  Or turn away, put on that brave face, and smile ...