Wednesday 23 January 2008

Hap hap hap pee birth day, eat a little cake for me . . .

Here's wishing three chaps a very special birthday:

Dave 40 today - woo hoo (never would've thunk it;)
Jae 37 today - enjoy stuffing your bird tonight me dear :)
Toby 3 today - Ade's cousin Sue's little boy

The jelly and custard is on me!

X

Monday 21 January 2008

I'm still bleeding . . . yeah, yeah, yeah!

Hellooo and welcome to my first proper post of 2008 - 2008 can you believe it!!
Where did 1974 - 2007 go to??

Anyway, having bled horrifically for nigh on 2 years I've been on the hormone pill Norethisterone 3 times a day since November. Great, you might think - no more bleeding . . . you clearly didn't pay attention to the title of this post!

Since I started re-taking the hormones 2 things have happened.

Firstly my skin has erupted in a manner akin to a woman possessed by a demonic blemish-creating ghoul. I am covered in spots, zits, puss filled sores which quite frankly are slightly unsightly. And when I say covered I mean, my chin, my cheeks, my neck, my front, my back but - thankfully - not my arms or my legs. These remain under their winter cover of clothing and hair but I shall be proud to bear them when the sun comes out. Ade is currently delighting in pointing them out to me - should I forget quite how badly I am afflicted.

Secondly the bleeding that was heavy and prolonged but in my eyes predictable, has become slightly less heavy and less prolonged but totally unpredictable. I'm not sure which I prefer. Actually, it's obviously the second option - less bleeding is gooood. However I am now in a position where I have no bleed free period. It is all period period but then again maybe it isn't. What I mean is I have absolutely no idea when any bleeding might start and for how long it could go on.

This results in a period paranoia. I go everywhere armed with sanitary product. My sanitary basket of tricks never leaves the side of my toilet bowl. Not a day goes by when I do not have an Always Ultra on. Or at least that is how it is now. Having had a couple of minor incidents. A couple is a slight underestimate if you include those which occured in bed - altho my light (non) sleeping ensures that any sudden erruptions (of a bloody not a spotty kind) are instantly banished to the bathroom and dealt with firmly. Not perhaps before a small element of leakage and staining occurs but we have a new washer which is most effective at blood removal, thank goodness.

The pre-Christmas Sainsbury's incident is not one to be cherished. Imagine being half way through your grocery shopping, having left it to a point when you have no food in any cupboard / fridge and the cat is bringing in offerings that look vaguely appetising. You have left it too late to internet order because it would be at least another 48 hours without food and in fact your stash of the 2 t's (towels and tampons) is such, that an emergency drag yourself round Sainsbury's is unavoidable. Either that or revert to the somewhat dusty Mooncup. Half way round with a trolley that contains some but not all your necessities you feel a little rush. Not of excitement at the latest two for one on deodrant, but of blood emanating from between your thighs. Luckily-ish you did pop a panty liner in this morning but their capacity for absorbing a Mooncup or three's worth of blood in a short period of time is not something that has ever been put to a scientific test.

For some reason I didn't think to abandon my trolley and run like a leaking leopard to the ladies. Maybe I thought the security guard would tackle me to the floor with my unopened pack of Super Plus Extra. I kept going. Walking in a quickened but gliding pace around the aisles in an attempt not to dislodge anything that might be about to exit stage south. Every time I felt anything dribble I held my breath as if that would stay its flow, as if gravity was there to be defied.

Somehow I made it round my absolute essentials (milk, bread, cat crunchies, tampons, towels) and got through the checkout and into the loo before my jeans gave the game away. It was a near thing but I shall endorse the Always panty liner as a absorbing miracle if anyone asks.

From that moment on I have never been without a knicker full of a normal, proper period designed, product.

I spoke to my haematologists after new year, in case they too were concerned about my sudden floods that lasted a few days and then stopped again without rhyme or reason and with continuous Norethisterone. They weren't, as long as I wasn't pregnant, which is fairly unlikely when you're bleeding most of the time and when you're not you think you might start any minute. And not that likely when you're on the pill, but not impossible obviously.

A few days later I received a letter from my gynae doc suggesting that as I was still bleeding I should add Noramin another hormone pill to the mix. This combination was the one that kept me bleed free for the last 17 years so I thought this was a jolly sensible idea.

Sadly the commencement of the Normain three weeks ago co-incided with the commencement of a wet patch following a brief dry one. The wet patch has been rather large and flowing with a number of concerningly sized clots and again seems to come and go daily. I'm assuming that this is a teething issue. Once my poor old body gets used to yet another hormone coursing through it, it will fall into line, turn off the taps and let me put away the 2 t's once and for all . . .

. . . now there's an appealing prospect.

X

Thursday 17 January 2008

Waiting Hopefully

This is a challenge from Helen, my bleeding friend.

My answers will be a big pile of pop cheese...

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY?" YOU SAY?
For An Angel (Paul Van Dyk)

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
One Too Many Mornings (The Chemical Brothers)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Evergreen (Faithless)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Knives Out (Radiohead)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Maybe You've Been Brainwashed Too (New Radicals)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Flaunt It (TV Rock Feat. Seany B)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad? (Moby)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Supermassive Black Hole (Muse)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN?
Lady (Hear Me Tonight) (Modjo)

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Come Undone (Robbie Williams)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Fold (Jose Gonzalez)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Lovely Head (Goldfrapp)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Candy Perfume Girl (Madonna)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Machete (Moby)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Gaze (Sweetback)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
No Regrets (Robbie Williams)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Days Go By (Dirty Vegas)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Drowned World / Substitute For Love (Madonna)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
I'm Not Over You (Scouting For Girls)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Hysteria (Muse)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Waiting Hopefully (D*Note)

Phewee - not too embarrassing ... why don't you try it?

x

Thursday 10 January 2008

Cannot Flippin Sleep ... Still!

Cannot Flippin Sleep or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or CFS is the bane of my life.

Happy New Year to anyone bored enough to be reading this hehehe.
I have bumped this post - first published in December -to the top in case you missed it and also because even with two sleeping pills a night - I'm still awake!! You should see my bags...

You might think that the problem with CFS is too much sleep, an inability to stay awake if you will. You might imagine it involves a good nights sleep of, say, 10 hours and then drifting in and out of snoozes during the day. Maybe it does in some cases.

That is not how it affects me.

My main problem at the moment is disrupted or disturbed or disabled sleep. This week I've had perhaps one night when I've slept well. No, thinking about it I think it's over a week now since I had what could be described as a good, or even just as a normal, night's sleep.

There is the pain issue. My ankles kill when in bed. I've tried wearing socks which sometimes helps. I've taken to wearing my ankle support in bed the last few nights and this seems to make a little difference. I have as you know been taking pain killers - firstly Co-proximol and then Tramadol. I thought the Tramadol had done the trick but then that hasn't been working at all this week so I've stopped taking it.

I cannot get comfortable. My legs ache and throb constantly and I find myself writhing around trying to get them in a good spot. I find a place that appears comfortable but within a couple of minutes I'm rotating again, looking for that mythical position of no discomfort. It doesn't exist in my bed I tell you.

My head aches with the effort of trying to sleep. There is a now psychological element to my problem. I need sleep and I know it. Every night which goes by with little or no sleep adds to the pressure in my mind as soon as my head touches the pillow each night . . .

Right- time to sleep, shut eyes, empty mind and reeelaaaaax . . .

Aaaaarrrrrgh, mind spins off into random flitting thought, legs start up their percussive throbbing and a thrashing and it's another night of impossibly slow time travel. I can stop time with my mind. Yatta!

I swore in church yesterday, apologies oh godly one. I had just remembered that the one very important item on my shopping list - Nytol - was the one thing I had forgotten - perhaps, in fact, because I had forgotten to write it on my list in the first place! Luckily an angel was in the church at the time and she invited me back to her place to have some of her husband's supply. I did that and also benefitted from a cuppa and a mince pie - thank you to her and her angelic family :)

I have got an appointment to see a chronic fatigue specialist. Yes, there is one. Although you wouldn't know it if you asked your GP, or your haemotologist, or your hepatologist.

This lady, Dr Myhill, worked in the NHS for 20 years but now specialises in treating fatigue and in preventative medicine. The first appointment I could get is mid February - I'm hoping it's worth the wait.

Her website is extremely informative and rings so many bells when I read it that I could contract out to all the local churches. This is the address if you want to check it out:

http://www.drmyhill.co.uk/index.cfm

It's full of information about fatigue and other health problems. I don't have all the problems that she associates with CFS by any means, and for that I'm grateful, but here is short list of my symptoms taken from her section:
'CFS /ME (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) - how to diagnose and which tests to do'
  • Severe fatigue which is physical and mental and usually delayed 24-72 hours after exertion;
  • malaise (i.e. a feeling of illness);
  • muscle pain, usually worse with exertion;
  • muscle weakness (without the eye manifestation she refers to)
  • very poor stamina;
  • sleep disturbance (whereby the "biological clock" is moved on 4-6 hours and CFSs drop off to sleep late and wake late) - (in my case there is little or no dropping off and I find myself only sleeping in the early to mid morning);
  • alcohol intolerance;
  • autonomic nervous system disturbance (which as she explains can lead to problems with poor temperature control and extreme temperature intolerances and sweating - another nightime problem I've not yet mentioned)
She also refers to the mental fatigue which manifests as:
  • poor short-term memory,
  • inability to follow a line of argument,
  • difficulty reading or watching TV,
  • poor problem solving ability
  • poor learning.
I can relate to 4 out the 5 there and am incapable of focussing if there is more than one thing happening - i.e. I can watch the tv but don't try and talk to me while I am, because I will lose the ability to watch the tv, as well as be incapable of listening to what you are saying. Sound familiar to friends and family?

I know when people ask me how I am and I say - Oh, tired, same old thing - they probably think and indeed sometimes say - Oh yes, I know how you feel, I'm exhausted I had such a busy weekend...

Final quotes from Dr Myhill's site:

"Many patients believe, (with some justification!), that they are going demented."
"However, usually there are no abnormalities on physical examination, indeed, often the patient looks well."

Ho ho ho!

X