Tuesday 21 August 2007

Am I over the Mooncup??

It has been some time since I blogged my initial cup insertion. Almost two weeks in fact. So what's the score? How's it held up? What's it held up? And what's it not held up?

Well...

That first 3 a.m. go was interesting to say the least. Having written my post and gone back to bed at about 4 a.m. I pondered for a while longer unable to sleep. How would I know when the Mooncup was full? I obviously had a massive, mattress sized night time towel on, so if there were to be any overflow it wouldn't stain my burgundy sheets and my waterproof mattress protector. But I was thinking about the suction. The suction that kept the Mooncup in place. Clever idea. Did it mean that there would be no spillage? Nothing would get past the vacuum sealed rim? Hmmmm.

If that was the case then what? After the cup was full? Would the cup be as tight as the Hoover dam. Would the flow then back up? Could it reverse fill my womb to overflowing? And with no outlet would it leech through my blood vessels and into the rest of my body? Pushing its way slowly up me, filling me up like a hot water bottle. Until there was just a little air left in the top of my head. Would bloody tears spring from my eyes? That's happened in the past - from a nose bleed not being able to come out my nose quick enough.

I awoke a few hours later and felt around for seepage from my bodily orifi - nothing - phew!

I made my way to the loo. Night time towel unsullied - wow - that's unusual. This thing was good! I poked my fingers around trying to find my little stalk and pulled. Now I could feel the suction. As it slowly released I braced myself for a dambursting outpour. Closed my eyes and pulled...

Nothing.

No splashing, no gushing, no noise whatsoever! I opened one eye. Clean bowl. I opened the other eye and brought the Mooncup into my line of sight. Nothing in it! Godammit!

There was a tiny trace of blood around the rim but that was it. Had I had some kind of allergic reaction? Had my blood been repelled from the silicon cup? Was it waiting like an ocean that had been parted, ready to bomb on out the moment the coast was clear? I braced myself again...

Nothing.

The bleeding had stopped. Pretty much the instant I inserted the Mooncup my bleeding had stopped. Now that was annoying.

I tend to be an unpredictable bleeder at the best of times. My bleeding patterns are generally undefinable except by being consistently inconsistent. So it wasn't an impossibility that my period had started as a gusher and dried up over night.

This doesn't mean it's over for this month - oooooh noooo. It will be back. Sooner or later. Sooner probly. Heavier or lighter. Heavier probly. Who knows where, who knows when... Not me that's for sure.

I cleaned out my cup and popped it back in its little baggy for next time.

Next time came within four days...

Wednesday 15 August 2007

The Wrong Trousers

The White Trousers are indeed wrong - very wrong.

When I was a teenager going through period hell there are a number of incidents that remain indelibly etched in red in my rather shabby memory.

First was a sponsored walk that was organised by my school every year. You could choose whether you wanted to do the 5, 10 or 20 miles. I had previously done the 5 miles and although I couldn't walk for a week afterwards cos of ankle bleeds I was determined to do the 10 mile the next year with my friends.

However, dodgy joints apart, there was something different about me that year. I had hit puberty - like a truck full of ketchup ramming into a bridge support, there was red stuff everywhere. I was getting used to carrying masses of sanitary towels, feeling like I was in nappies again - and getting taken to the hospital for factor injections or blood transfusions every month.

Needless to say I was a bloody minded 13 year old :) and decided to enrol onto the 10 mile walk against my parents' better advice. With them assuring me that if I needed them I should get one of the Marshalls, posted every few miles around the course, to give them a bell. I'm not going to need that I thought!

Off I set. I seem to remember it was a horrible day. Raining and windy and cold. I was wearing a very untrendy mac and hiking boots. Waterproof trousers would have been useful but I think I thought I was too cool for those - yeh, in that mac!

The course is so designed that there are toilets situated fairly regularly - either public or private at people's houses, opened just for the day of the walks. I used them all. I was no more than two thirds of the way round when I ran out of towels. And I'd taken plenty, I'd thought. I didn't want to give up so I kept going. Walking in the rain. Getting wetter.

It wasn't long before I was aware that my 'nappy' was feeling more and more sodden. I felt uncomfortably duck like in my gait, with a waddle and a bulky posterior. I kept walking. Trying to ignore the leaking sensation, less of a leak more of a deluge by now.

At the next checkpoint I gave in and asked the Marshall to ring my dad. When he arrived I had to use my mac as a seat covering to protect it from the blood that was flooding through my jeans. Dad drove a defeated daughter home.

The next time I specifically recall a leaking incident was the next summer on a Quaker youngsters holiday in York. I was 14. There were probably about 60 of us all staying at the Mount School and having trips out and doing activities and crafts. One morning a large group of us were in a meeting of worship. Sitting in Quakerly silence for half an hour, as we did most mornings. I was wearing a light blue pencil skirt, my favourite, and a blue top.

Part way through this meeting I felt something in the pant department. I was mid-period and wearing a sanitary towel but in those days they were much less efficient at absorbing the blood and it wasn't long before I could sense that the towel was failing in its containment efforts. I wasn't very confident and didn't feel able to get up, walk out of the room and go to the loo to take preventative measures with all my peers sat in silence watching me. I didn't want any attention drawn to myself, so I sat there in the corner, feeling the blood flow and waiting for the meeting to end.

Once it had ended people took their time in leaving. I tried to wait til the room had emptied but I realised by that point I just needed to get out of there. I had no jumper or jacket on to wrap around my waist and conceal my embarrassment so when I stood up one of the lads saw the back of my light blue skirt and said

"Ewww, you've sat in something!"

I made a great show of shock horror, craning my neck to see the offending stain, examining my seat and suggesting offhandedly,

"I must have sat in some chocolate..."

And exited stage left tout suite! Sounds like I was cool about it, but believe me as a girl of 14 who cared what others thought, I was mortified. Hence I suppose that has stayed in my mind ever since.

I don't think I wore anything light coloured after that. Not for years. Not until I was on extreme hormone pill doses which was the only thing that calmed down the bleeding. And that had to be taken continuously because any gaps and bleeding was still horrific.

I always use burgundy coloured sheets - I've been drawn to that colour ever since I first went to college and needed to supply my own sheets. Just recently I've started using white ones and immediately reminded myself why that wasn't a good idea by bleeding all over them from a dicky gum!

So why the white trousers?? Why indeed, uncertain, Helen, anonymous - you are quite right to think me insane.

I bought them about 4 years ago. I was still on continuous hormone replacement therapy and had been for about 15 years. So 15 years with no periods whatsoever. None. Still never bought any white trousers cos you never know when you might scratch yourself on a bramble, or meet with a cat's claw, either of which can cause a good two or three hours of persistent bleeding - more than enough to ruin any white clobber.

I think it was coming up to my wedding and we were planning our honeymoon. I'd gone to Debenhams to look for some holiday clothes and found the trousers. I wouldn't have even tried them on if they weren't in the sale :) But they were and they dazzled me into thinking I'd look glam and gorgeous on my honeymoon, swanning around like a film star in white pants. I forgot my severe bleeding condition in an attempt to be a foxy lady. I bought them.

Wore them once on the moon and immediately spilled red wine or some other such coloured concoction down them. Since then they've pretty much been relegated to the 'wear on holiday if you are going somewhere very posh but not if you're likely to be eating or drinking whilst there' category - i.e. never worn!!

Until this year when the trend for super long tops came back in.

Aha! I now have a couple of tops that are floaty and loooong. Down to mid thigh if not a tad longer. I can wear trousers with my bum concealed. And that to me means I can wear enormous knickers with night-time sanitary towels and no-one will ever know!! Hurrah!!

So. I got out my White Trousers. I've even worn them a couple of times. Admittedly not while I've been mid-period, i.e. most of every month. But I did wear them with said floaty number for a meal out with hubby. And managed to keep them clean.

So why did I wear them last week, when I'd just started bleeding? And with a top barely skimming my buttocks - there I've said it again! What possessed me?? God only knows... All I can say is that I had a handbag bursting with sanitary prods, I kept my back to the toilet door and never ventured more than 3 metres from that door. I went to the loo more often than even I with my toilet addiction normally do and I didn't relax the entire evening, not once. But it was my sister in laws celebratory engagement drinks and if you can't say to hell with it I'm wearing my White Trousers and damn the bloody consequences then, when can you eh??

You gotta rebel sometime, even if it is only in the form of light coloured clothing ;)

X

Wednesday 8 August 2007

Mooncupdate...


Cheers! Or perhaps more aptly - Bottoms Up! Or if we're being pernickity - Up Bottom!


Was thinking of taking a 'half full' photo for the celebratory glass of red / cup of red effect. Then realised that would be one blood sodden step too far! This post would already receive an X in the gore ratings but that's without a photo of me hoisting aloft a measure of my own fine vintage.

The news is this. It is 3a.m. and I'm mooning as we speak. I'm cupped up. Cupping myself. Full up with cup. The Mooncup's up! It's up! It's ... no, it's still up and showing no signs of coming down.

Well fancy that.

I was sat, only minutes ago, on my porcelain chair, contemplating my Mooncup. Earlier tonight we were on our way out to celebrate Ade's sister Jackie's engagement - by way of an enormous sign, on a lorry, parked up outside her office window, Bob you are a surprisingly creative chap and many congratulations to you both - when I felt something dribble. Not enough to fill a milk bottle but more than enough for a thimble. Given that I didn't have a thimble the choice was Mooncup or tampon. As we were going to the pub and I was wearing white trousers with a top barely skimming my buttocks (now there's a phrase I've always wanted to use!!) I needed a safe option so plumped for the latter, purely on the basis of experience. Thinking about it now, that was flawed logic based on my history of bloody bottoms.

After two near misses in the pub in the bloody pant department we were back home. On my way to bed I automatically inserted a Super Plus and then thought,

"Really should be trying the cup. That's it," thunk I, "if I'm up in the night" (if I'm up in the night hahaaa that's a wheeze) "I'll pop it in and see what happens."

So back to my porcelain chair at just before 3a.m. I'm sat perusing my Mooncup. It's too big!! I may not be a vestal virgin but it's no Eurotunnel and this baby looks pretty big to me! Hmmm. It looked clean and rubbery and really I didn't want to spoil it or soil it, but what's a trial if you don't use the thing.

I folded it up on itself as instructed and popped it in. Now when I say popped, I really mean shoved. With some resistance of a rubbery nature. Luckily the bleeding was such that once inside it was soggy enough to move into position. The position, that is, I wasn't sure of.

The instructions stated the cup should be worn lower down than a tampon, just inside the entrance to the vagina. Now I think I got it just about in the right spot. I could feel the bottom of the cup just inside and the stalk was poking out for easy removal.

According to a commentator on my last Mooncup post and to the leaflet accompanying the product - which is quite frankly enormous and as weighty as a loaded tampon, but does contain instructions in more languages than the Pope himself speaks - one should trim the stalk of the Mooncup to a comfortable length. Well, I hadn't planned for this middle of the night moment. I had no scissors or other trimming device to hand. Sod it. I'm only going to be horizontal - how proddy can it get?? I'll trim it in the morning.

And here I am, writing this long hand at my dining table at 3.38a.m. thinking "that feels weird." I'm not sure if it's the Mooncup itself . . . in fact, I can feel the Mooncup cup inside me - I presume I'll get used to that. But the stalk is definitely gonna have to go! The actual sensation is less prodding and more reminding me of a time I had a corrugated card contraption inside me to supposedly drain off internal bleeding. It was held in place - i.e. stopped from whooshing up inside me by the force of my vaginal suction :/ - by a carefully positioned baby's nappy pin. This stalky sensation takes me right back there.

My concern will be to leave enough stalk there to enable removal. I could trim it now I'm up and about I suppose, but having scrawled all this down after being unable to sleep, I'd like to get back to my sweet dreams thank you.

I'll leave the trimming and measuring - god, I sound like a Greengrocer, or should that be Redgrocer - til the morning.

Wish me luck.

X


There's 50 points to the person who spots the Fawlty Towers reference.

Many congratulations to Jac and Bob on their engagement - yippee!! xxx

Tuesday 7 August 2007

Bleeding Stats for July

Thought I'd stick my pictorial bleeding chart stats on here for your delectation :) This was my 17 day period for July.

Tampons

Heavy 97

Sodden to the point of being past absorption, falls out when string gently pulled, lands like a broken milk bottle, often accompanied by large and frankly revolting looking clots

Medium 26

Some traces of white left on tampon, may be clots hanging on for grim life but not always, takes a little pull to remove

Light 3

Slightly bloody, generally at least half covered, takes a sharp pull to remove, not many of these as you can see

Towels

Heavy 7

Sodden to the point of leaking out all over clothing and causing “ooo I just sat in something brown” embarrassment, feels as heavy as a sandbag in Upton on Severn, requires careful disposal not to promote leakage

Medium 12

Some traces of white left on towel, could squeeze in a few more ml of blood to the super absorbent core if you were really determined

Light 2

Slightly bloody, looks less like road kill has occurred in one’s pant and more like you’re having a fairly normal monthly bleed


How does that compare ladies – am I making a fuss over nothing? Do tell me if I am :)

X

Friday 3 August 2007

Fly me to the Mooncup

How many moon references can I think of ... I got a few more up my sleeve for future posts, don't you worry :)

I know you've been all excited, checking every day to see if indeed it is a yummy choccy pud, as uncertain suggested. Now that would be good. I'm sure you've not looked it up on Google like I would have ... well, I'll pretend you don't know and go with a big build up - are you ready???

Here it is - the Mooncup:


Oooo pretty isn't it! Love the little baggy and the pink ribbon.

Now what's inside ... is it a lip gloss? A delicate bracelet??

Ok, open the little bag and what's inside - it's a ...

Hmmmm, now what the heck is that?? Is it a plastic tulip? A baby turkey baster? A tiny bucket for removing flood water??

This should make it obvious...


Can you see that? Yes, it's a reusable menstrual cup!
Of course, you cry! I knew that all along!! How perfectly splendid!!!

Apparently they're big in the States according to my friend Helen - but then uncertain hadn't heard of it - or had you myc? My other friend emailed me and told me that she's been using a similar concept - the Keeper, nice name - for 6 years now. That's 6 years without using, without buying any tampons! That sounds good to me - it'll save me a fortune!! She's been recommending them to all her friends.

Here's the facts, as taken from Mooncup.co.uk:

The Mooncup is a reusable menstrual cup around two inches long and made from soft silicone rubber. It is worn internally like a tampon but collects menstrual fluid rather than absorbing. Unlike tampons the Mooncup is not a disposable product, so you only need to buy one.

It's not disposable, you see, you only buy one and re-use it. Re-use it. Hang on a minute ... how does that work??

The Mooncup can be cleaned in the same way as baby equipment: with sterilising fluid, or by boiling for five minutes in an open pan of water.

Oh I seeee ... you just boil it between uses, or stick it in a baby steriliser. How my gonna do that on a Pendolino to London? How my gonna do that at work, "sorry chaps just gotta boil the kettle to swill out my Mooncup". How my gonna do that at home when I can't leave the comfort of the toilet to head to the kitchen for a spot of sterilising because I'll leave the carpet looking like Jack the Ripper's been reincarnated...

You can still use your Mooncup in Public toilets. Simply take a small bottle
of water into the toilet with you and rinse it with this. Alternatively you
can wipe with toilet paper and give your Mooncup a thorough clean at a more convenient time.

Ahhh that's a bit more like it. In fact that's what my friend suggested, although she can get away with wearing hers for 24 hours on the trot generally.

The Mooncup will hold 30ml of fluid, which is roughly one third of the average total produced each period. A light seal is formed with your vaginal walls allowing your menstrual fluid to pass into the Mooncup without leakage or odour. You will probably find that you need to empty your Mooncup less frequently than you currently replace towels or tampons.

The average total produced each period is 60ml - now that's interesting. That's what appeals to me, not only emptying less frequently than I currently replace tampons - sometimes as often as every half hour - but that I can actually measure my blood loss. Does that sound totally weird?? I'm curious. Curious to know just how much I'm actually losing each month. I'm not getting that anaemic - HBC 11.2 (June) and Ferritin 12 - so therefore I can't be bleeding that much, right??

In order for a period to be considered heavy - according to the Mooncup website - one would be losing "80mls+ produced over the whole cycle". Will I be anywhere near that? I think so, knowing my tampon stats but we'll see.

I'm going to give it a go next period - in a week or so if my menstrual calendar is at all predictable, which it usually isn't!! I'm not entirely keen on the cleaning the cup out in the sink bit, or the squatting to get it in and out, or wearing it lower down the vagina than a tampon, or trying to remove it without spilling blood around like a chocolate fountain. But - I do like the idea of using less towels and tampons - from an environmental and economicental and mental point of view, I like the idea of accurately (if my hands are steady and the things not overflowing:) measuring my blood loss, and I like the idea of leaving it in and forgetting about it - maybe being able to walk into town and back without a public toilet dependency, maybe going swimming even??? It's possible apparently.

Wish me luck and send me bathroom cleaning products!

X